


But It Is Sunlight

by crygimethoode



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Lesbian AU, Song fic exchange, crygi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28414515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crygimethoode/pseuds/crygimethoode
Summary: All the times Gigi Goode Is In Love With Crystal Methyd and The One Time She Admits it.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Nicky Doll/Jaida Essence Hall
Comments: 15
Kudos: 40





	But It Is Sunlight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [atresia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/atresia/gifts).



> This is my very late submission to the Song Fic Exchange, inspired by Hozier's Sunlight.
> 
> With all the love in my tiny blue heart.

**_I would shun the light, share in evenings cool and quiet,_ **

**_Who would trade that humm of night?_ **

**_For Sunlight, Sunlight, Sunlight._ **

Gigi isn’t prepared the first time it happens. They’ve been working together for a few weeks and, sure, Gigi has noticed that she always smells like cinnamon and her often eclectic tastes are endearing instead of off-putting and when Crystal smiles, it fills -Gigi- everyone with lightness. Crystal is the events planner they’ve hired for what probably is the biggest launch party in Gigi’s career.  _ It’s not hers, she thinks a little bitterly, it’s an up and coming twenty-something who’s a hit with internet poems _ . Gigi can’t help but roll her eyes.

She’s been reading submissions for their annual poetry contest, marking up the page with an orange pen-  _ corrections when the work has promise, comments when she thinks it could be shortlisted, and doodles on work she deems cliché or still needs to be workshopped-  _ she scoffed to herself. It's ironic that her job as a publishing assistant means she has the authority to critique other people’s work when Gigi's own inbox is littered with rejection emails. 

Gigi isn’t an expert, but her BA in Creative Writing & English Literature- _ with honours, thank you very much-  _ and her MFA feel credible enough, not to mention the years of copywriting through University and a few chapbooks and small publications that give her enough experience to not be overtly biased or ego centric when commenting on other young writers' work. 

Her eyes are straining, the words on the seventeenth shitty love poem she’s read are swimming before her eyes when she looks up from her desk. It’s already night time, and she’s the last person in the office- it isn't new by any means, but it's always just as disorienting as the first time. She checks her notifications, finding a text from Jaida, 

_ Don’t stay too late. Eat something. Xx _

Gigi rolls her eyes at her best friend/unofficial big sister. Still, she gets up, securing her dark hair into a bun with her pen. Her to-be-read pile is still looming, so she grabs a stack and makes her way to the kitchenette for coffee and some kind of sustenance. 

Crystal is at the counter, fidgeting with something when Gigi reaches the kitchen. She has her back to the door, so Gigi takes a minute to compose herself. This late at night, she doesn't quite feel human enough for other people, she’d already taken off her heels, most of her makeup is smudged and she’s in glasses- it's a level of not-put-togetherness that feels too intimate for a co-worker she’d known a few weeks?  _ Is Crystal a co-worker?  _ Technically _ Gigi is her boss- _

A high pitched squeal jolts Gigi out of her thoughts, has her clutching her pile of submissions to her chest- she hasn't realised how eerily silent the office has been before Crystal speaks, her eyes wide, “You scared me!” She turns to Gigi, a bright grin on her face that starts to fade the longer it takes Gigi to compose herself. “I didn't think anyone else was still here.”

“Neither did I,” Gigi manages, Crystal is worrying her lip between her teeth, bouncing from one leg to another when Gigi approaches the counter.

The silence feels uncomfortable, Gigi wishes she had something to say, but her and Crystal have only talked about the launch party and right now, in the little kitchenette under warm orange light, it feels too personal to spring into shop talk- so she buries herself with the coffeemaker. Filling up the beans and water, the whir of the machine as it turns on permeates every inch of the break room.

Crystal hasn't moved from her spot at the counter, statue frozen, watching Gigi intently. “You can go back to what you were doing.” Gigi waves her hand at her dismissively.

“Oh umm… I don't. I’m not sure how to… uh… you know I've been in the conference room working on the event all day and I just took a break and nobody was supposed to be here, so I thought maybe… I don't know, I’m sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm usually much more professional than this, but, like, it's not illegal technically-”

Gigi chuckles at how flustered Crystal suddenly sounds. In her experience,  _ albeit very limited experience _ , of her, she’s been so composed and in her element. Sure, Crystal is all bright colours and happy enthusiasm, but in business she’s authoritative, professional in a way that screams in charge and certain. She mediates conflict with a practiced ease, her optimism infectious. Right now, though… This Crystal has her curls in a mess, there are highlighter smears across her cheek, dark circles under her eyes- she looks like she just spent a day dealing with shitty vendors-. Her sleeves are rolled up on her forearm and she’s untucked her shirt, leaving a few more buttons undone than normally, and Gigi finds her eyes lingering on the skin of Crystal's collarbones, which are turning red from the blush spreading down her body. _ Gigi wants to know this Crystal _ . She doesn't understand anything Crystal is saying, but she’s amused. “Crystal, it's fine.”

The smile that spreads across Crystals face could rival the sun, she spins back to the counter and suddenly the warm lighting is too dim on this side of the room, so Gigi finds herself closing the distance between her and Crystal under the guise of picking a specific mug from the cabinet above her,  _ she still doesn't know what to say.  _ She puts down the stack of submissions and is stretching up to the mugs when she catches a whiff of something earthy and familiar. Crystal notices she’d been caught before Gigi can speak.

“Want some?” She asks, biting her lip. When Gigi meets her gaze, her eyes are shining in a way that looks like trouble.

“You know, technically I’m your boss?” Gigi cocks her head to the side pressing her hip against the counter. 

“Technically Jaida hired me, which makes her my boss.” Crystal smirks. “You’re just an add in.”

Gigi rolls her eyes. She’s not new to smoking-  _ she’s an aspiring poet for god sake, she’s even taken a couple hits with colleagues in the past, but never in the office _ \- she could use a hit to help her get through these submissions though, and Crystal looks like good company standing there with a joint in her hand… 

“We can go on the roof, if you want,” Crystal offers, then points at the pile of papers Gigi is seemingly attached to. “You can bring that with you even. You look like you could use a break,” she adds gently.

“I could. There are only so many crappy poems I can read before my brain starts leaking.” 

“I'm sure they’re not that bad.”

Gigi wiggles her nose. “They’re not good.” When Crystal bursts into giggles, Gigi wants to hear that sound over and over again.

That’s how they end up in the crisp night air. Sharing two joints and a pizza with the city glistening below them. 

**_But whose heart would not take flight?_ **

**_Betray the moon as acolyte_ **

The night giggling over cliche love poems, and swapping work stories seem to have broken the ice between them. Gigi notices that they chat more when working together now. Sure, they’re friendly, but Gigi wouldn't call their relationship anything past acquaintances, they only see each other at work,  _ right now. _ She’s a professional-  _ and still technically Crystal’s bos _ s- in this industry she’d learnt where to keep the lines drawn the hard way. 

The book launch is a few weeks away and that means she and Crystal have been working overtime getting everything in place. This is the biggest author the company has landed recently, this new-face-of-modern-poetry author had been highly sought after by most of their competitors, but Gigi had pitched the small firm angle and hooked the biggest fish of her publishing career. She’d taken on this client as a calculated risk and so far it's been promising- there's even talk of a promotion. Needless To Say she’s invested in the success of the launch party.

They’ve lingered after a meeting to debate what kind of wine is better- Gigi swears by a crisp dry white not knowing Crystal is a wholeass wine connoisseur,

“It's part of the job, I swear, we have so many vendors,” she explains nonchalantly. Crystal laughs full bodied and easy in a way that makes Gigi’s breath catch in her throat and fills her chest with sunshine.

Crystal teases her for being the only poet in history to not like red wine, she promises an eventual wine tasting Gigi scoffs, but agrees to easily, knowing it's probably not going to happen. They’re still giggling,  _ lingering  _ in the easy way that Gigi usually hates with anyone but Crystal, when Crystal’s personal phone goes off. 

“Sorry it's my girlfriend,” she says, packing away her files, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll see you next week!” 

Gigi feels like storm clouds yanked away her sunlight as Crystal disappears behind the conference room doors.

**_On First and fierce, affirming sight_ **

**_Of Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight_ **

The night of the book launch party, everything goes without a hitch. Which isn't a surprise to Gigi because Crystal is very good at her job. The author was so impressed by everything that there's a talk of them signing on as an exclusive client, Gigi’s boss had praised her, mentioning the promotion as a real possibility. 

The reading was excellent as was the decor and the refreshments, you could see traces of Crystal all over the room in her eclectic, but somehow classy touches. 

Gigi is exhausted from networking and supervising, dealing with last minute administrative mishaps. Truth be told, she’s a little envious this wasn't her book launch party- _ she’s envious that she doesn't have a book to launch yet.  _

It’s late and the few stragglers left are starting to trickle out of the venue when Jaida finds her at the bar. “Soon it’ll be your publication party,” Jaida says gently, clinking their wine glasses. 

Gigi scoffs and is about to dismiss it when Crystal walks up to them. She traded her usual business casual attire for a flirty dress, it breezes around her knees and she glimmers like the sunshine on the ocean at noon, in a way that reminds Gigi of summertime, and of wanting. She’s starstruck and paying more attention to how the light plays against the fabric of Crystal's dress than what she’s saying... Until a blonde with a French accent slides up and wraps her arm around Crystal's waist with a breathy laugh. 

“Jaida, this is my girlfriend Nicky,” Crystal introduces her as Nicky sticks her hand out, 

“Oh, you are cute!” Jaida says taking her hand. 

Crystal spends a long time gushing over Nicky, telling Jaida about her affinity for style, and Nicky’s laughter carries like fresh sheets dancing in the summer breeze. _ It's a perfect counterpart to Crystal's sunshine,  _ Gigi thinks bitterly. It makes Gigi antsy, this sudden insecurity that laps at her, like she’s going to freak out if she has to keep standing, so she throws back the rest of her wine- _ a Shiraz Crystal recommended.  _ It stains her lips dark, blending with her lipstick, and leaves her feeling a little heady. She feels Crystal's gaze on her and avoids meeting her eyes the entire time.

Gigi excuses herself after that,  _ she’s at a work event not out at the bars, _ she reminds herself,  _ Crystal is just a friend she barely sees outside of the office _ . So she goes and busies herself with packing away the books left at the authors’ table. The event is wrapped up and if she throws books into boxes with an air of carelessness- well, whatever,  _ she’s tired _ . And bound to be officially off the clock by now.

When Crystal taps her on the shoulder, Gigi has her nose buried in the new book.

“More shitty poems?” Crystal's grin is sly and more laidback than Gigi’s ever seen, and despite herself, she finds herself wanting to bask in it.

Gigi shrugs, then blushes. “It’s good. I’m a little jealous.” 

She’s shocked at her honesty, but doesn't delve on it. Crystal remains oblivious to the double meaning in her words.

“Nicky and Jaida are going out to a bar, they want us to come with them. I knew they’d hit it off!” 

“Your  _ girlfriend _ and Jaida?” Gigi clarifies.

“Yeah, Nicky’s been asking me to introduce her to my cute coworker and at first Ii thought she meant you, but apparently she and Jaida have a lot in common and I owed her one anyway, she found my shitty ex for me, so…” Crystal looks down, kicking her foot fascinated by the hardwood flooring, it occurs to Gigi that she’s just word vomited some personal information and an invite to go out for a drink, but she’s distracted by the familiar blush tinting her cheeks. “Nicky’s my best friend. Anyway, you don't have to come, but I don't know... Might be fun?”

**_I had been lost to you, sunlight_ **

**_And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight._ **

**_oh , your love is sunlight_ **

**_Oh, your love is sunlight_ **

**_But it is sunlight._ **

They go to the bar and watch Jaida and Nicky flirt and drink and dance. Gigi and Crystal buy individual drinks and sink into a booth in the back. 

The dim lighting makes the space feel more intimate than the crowded bar on a Friday night should. Gigi is hot, and she wants to say that the one gin and tonic she’s nursing and the small space are responsible for the sudden increase in temperature-  _ it's definitely not Crystal who’s sitting right there _ . Closer than she’s ever been before, her knee occasionally brushing against Gigi’s under the table. She finds herself chasing the contact every time. 

They sit and talk, more about themselves than they have in the months they’ve been working together. Gigi learns that Crystal is a tired babbler. She rambles about her roommates, zealously recounts her travels and how she started her work as a party planner in queer event spaces. She tells Gigi about the book she’s reading right now and how tedious it is. She’s dramatic in the way she throws her head back, and whines and complains until exasperated Gigi-who’s already read the book multiple times and adores it- writes out a synopsis of the novel on a napkin,- in an orange pen,- and tucks it into Crystal's hand, fingers trailing across her palm and down her fingers so gently and slowly that she’s not sure it really happened or if she imagined it. Crystal reaches up to adjust Gigi’s bangs, sweeps the tails of them out of her eyes, and Gigi feels her synapses burning.

Gigi is surprised again- at how easily she’s drawn to Crystal. Like a moth flying to the moon, Gigi tells Crystal all about her writing  _ because there isn't much else to her _ , but Crystal listens intently, asking relevant questions, like Gigi wais the first bloom of Spring in all its fascination and wonder. Gigi promises to show Crystal her portfolio at some point,  _ eventually, _ and she leans into the conversation and Crystal as the night schelps on. 

When they eventually decide to call it a night, Gigi offers to drive Crystal home. “It’s on my way,” she promises, even though it isn't. 

Everything is stark under the streetlights, in a way that has Gigi feeling more exposed than she had in their little booth. She crosses her arms and she can feel knots forming in her stomach,  _ what is she doing there?!  _ She wonders,  _ this is stupid, she should just go home. Crystal is annoyed at her babbling probably... But also she likes Crystal. The more she sees her, the more Gigi wants to know Crystal.  _

Crystal who walks beside her, with her hands in her pockets. Crystal who keeps sneaking glances at her over the center console of Gigi’s car. Crystal who smells like cinnamon and had assured Gigi that she _definitely does not have a girlfriend._ Crystal who likes the idea of classic literature, but lacks the patience for it. Crystal who fiddles with Gigi’s aux code when she starts driving because Gigi forgot about it, _as she often does,_ Crystal the Hozier fan.

They sit in the car when Gigi pulls up outside Crystal's house, neither of them speaking. Gigi wants to say that  _ she had fun, that Crystal did an excellent job with the event, that she wants to see Crystal again _ . She’s very aware that when Crystal gets out of the car there's a chance she won't see her again.  _ For someone whose life revolves around words, she’s unsually at a loss for what to say.  _

Gigi sighs, long and drawn out. Frustrated at herself more than anything.

“Oh sorry, I should go?” Crystal is blushing again. She reaches out and gently touches Gigi’s arm. “Thanks for driving me home, I had fun.” 

Gigi can only nod as she unbuckles her seatbelt. She feels like she’s going to implode, her leg keeps bouncing and she misses the warmth in the car as the passenger door opens and Crystal is stepping out- 

“Wait!” Gigi yells, she leans across the seats, surely she looks ridiculous as she mumbles out her request-something this simple shouldn't make her feel this on edge “Can I have your number?”

Gigi drives home with the smell of cinnamon and a new glimmer of optimism lingering in the car. Crystal's number in her phone has absolutely everything to do with it.

**_All the tales the same_ **

**_Told before and told again_ **

**_A soul that’s born in cold and rain_ **

**_Knows sunlight, sunlight sunlight_ **

Jaida confronts Gigi in the break room almost two weeks after her getting Crystal's phone number.

“Why haven’t you called her yet?”

“Good morning to you too, Jaida.” Gigi rolls her eyes going back to her coffee.

“Why haven't you called her yet?” she asks again. “She’s waiting for you to text, you know.”

Gigi wants to argue  _ that Crystal must have forgotten all about her by now, _ but she knows that Nicky is supplying this information to Jaida. She’s not really sure how she feels about the whole Crystal situation-  _ not that there is a Crystal Situation per se _ \- but what happens when she texts Crystal after all this time? And what happens when it's not just a text anymore, what are the rules here?

“Geege, you like her. It’s a text,” Jaida says gently, the way you’d encourage a child to do something they  _ want _ to do, but are hesitant about.

“I do like her.” Truthfully, Gigi hasn't felt warmth like that since Crystal and her stopped working together-the kind of heat that leaches into your bones, soft and comfortable. She craves it. She’s taken to eating her lunch on the small balcony to try and soak in some chilly sunlight in a vain attempt at imitation. She’s even bought a new air freshener that has her feeling like she’s driving around in a Cinnabon. “She's very pretty,” Gigi admits, her brows furrowed. She starts cracking her knuckles.

“I thought  _ she  _ was pretty too,” Gigi mumbles, taking a deep breath so her voice doesn't waver, “It's the same story isn’t it?”

“I know you’re apprehensive... Crystals not  _ her,”  _ Jaida whispers. “It isn't the same. Plus, it's just one text.”

“I’m not sure where to start?”

“Hi, its Gigi, sorry for being dumb and not texting.” 

**_And at last can grant a name_ **

**_To a buried and burning flame_ **

**_As love and its decisive pain_ **

**_Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight_ **

It’s eight o’clock and Gigi is alone in the office again. She’s catching up on her actual work that she missed because she was too busy writing a pros/cons list about texting Crystal. 

Her brain has been playing a dreamy, perfectly timed montage of their interactions over the last few weeks all day, from a handshake that left glitter residue on Gigi’s palm to their hushed, but honest conversation in an uncomfortable leather booth in a crowded bar.

There are more cons on her list, but every single moment in her mind is bathed in golden light and warmth-  _ Gigi wants to walk towards that, needs to-  _ so seemingly without thinking, she pulls out her phone. 

Crystal texts back. 

They exchange messages until the traffic dies down outside. Until Gigi is yawning in her desk chair. Until Gigi feels like something could bloom out of the fluorescent light of her phone.

**_All that was shown to me, sunlight_ **

**_Was somethin’ foreknown to me, sunlight, oh sunlight_ **

**_Oh your love is sunlight_ **

_ Would you want to go out to eat tomorrow night? _

_ Like a date.  _

_ -G  _

It takes Gigi half a bottle of wine and thirteen drafts to make the request. To make sure the tone was right. To psyche herself up to ask Crystal out-  _ on a real date. _

_ I would love that! What's the plan? _

The reply is instantaneous. Basically no dots, no hesitation. 

_ Because I know you have a plan _ . 

Crystal left a winky face emoji in her second response. Gigi's chest blooms as she reads the text. 

***

Their date is Italian food, because Gigi knows the owners at a hole in the wall spot and swears that they have the best fresh spaghetti. The first thing Gigi does is hand Crystal the wine list telling her to  _ “Surprise me.” _

“I always do,” Crystal giggles across the table bathed in candle light, Gigi has to agree that she’s already pretty dumbstruck by all that Crystal Methyd is.

They’ve been texting for a while and their natural chemistry is palpable as they laugh together, clinking their glasses. Gigi notices a tenderness in the stories they choose to share over the rich food. When an elderly lady comes out of the kitchen to greet them, kissing Gigi on the cheeks, she pulls out her nearly perfect italian,  _ she hopes it impresses Crystal,  _ who is absolutely beaming at Gigi. She blushes when the owner points at Crystal and tells her that she looks like a keeper, shooting her a wink. 

When the owner leaves, Gigi translates most of the conversation, conveniently leaving out that maybe she does want to keep Crystal. 

They get two desserts  _ for sharing _ , Crystal insists. But Crystal is also not a good sharer, Gigi learns. 

  
As the night wears on, they’ve run through the menu and are working on the dreads of their wine, the unspoken agreement that  _ now _ is the time for softness lingering between them as they lean closer, their voices growing quiet and intimate. Crystal extends her arm across the table, palm up in invitation and Gigi doesn't hesitate to close the space. She intertwines their fingers under the flare of candle light.

**_But it is sunlight_ **

**_Oh, your love is sunlight_ **

_ Gigi dodged their first kiss, literally ducked under Crystal's arm and settled for a handshake.  _

“You’re telling me that you held hands across the table for hours and when she tried to kiss you goodnight all sweet and shit you said,  _ Oh no miss ma’am _ ?!” 

Gigi groans at Jaida. “Yes.” She shakes her head, “It was fine, but then I kind of freaked out.” Jaida bubbles into giggles that turns to a fully belly laughs when Gigi pouts at her. “Stop! It's already embarrassing!” 

“Okay, okay…” Jaida wheezes, finally getting herself under control, “but you wanted to kiss her?”

“Yes! I just don't know... We were drinking and it was warm and she was right there grinning like sunshine and it was dazzling, and I… I was overwhelmed!” 

“You’re always overwhelmed.”

“True, but next time I see her, I’m gonna go for it.”

“If you do let me know! Maybe I’ll win the lottery that day,” Jaida teases “You never make the first move Gee.”

“This was different… We’ve been texting but-'' Gigi starts, but her train of thought is derailed by Crystal stepping out of the elevator in what feels like slow motion.

She smiles at Gigi wide and thoothy. “Hey, I brought you coffee,” she says like it's the most casual thing in the world, like Gigi didn't ruin their date with a poorly timed handshake, like she’s happy to see her. “I was coming in for a rebrief and I thought of you.” 

“Oh... I think they’re set up in the conference room,” Gigi manages. She is still gaping, her head tilted affectionately. If she keeps smiling at Crystal, she thinks maybe some of her sunlight will refract off her, paint rainbows in the dull corners of Gigi’s world.

“I kind of need my hand back.” Crystal smirks.

Gigi’s eyes flicker down to where she’s grabbed the coffee over Crystal's hands and pulls away. She can hear Jaida snickering behind her.

She takes a deep breath. “Do you have plans for after your meeting? I have a longer lunch because Jaida is covering my afternoon meeting.”

**_oh , all these colours fade for you only_ **

**_Hold me, carry me slowly, my sunlight_ **

They go to lunch at Crystal’s favourite sushi place, which happens to be walking distance from Gigi’s building. She can't remember any of their conversation or what the food was like, but it's over too quickly and Crystal is walking her back to the office when her brain starts working again.

As they say goodbye outside,  _ so Crystal can head back to work herself _ , Gigi decides it's now or never and steps closer, slowly to make sure it's okay. Crystal doesn't move, just lets her step into her personal space. Crystal radiates heat, and Gigi thinks there's nothing about her that doesn't feel like sunshine. Her eyes briefly flicker from her eyes to her lips and back again, she can feel her sudden bravado wear off as she looks into Crystal's eyes, dark and earnest.

“Gigi-” Crystal’s breath ghosts over her lips, and that's all the invitation she needs, Gigi surges forward, pressing their lips together. 

She can taste the remnants of pickled ginger and soy sauce in Crystal's mouth, and Crystal's hand at the small of her back feels like it's going to burn through her coat. Gigi wants to dissolve in her. She wants to bask in this sunshine forever- can imagine herself sprawling in it on lazy sundays, wants it to blind people on nights out, wants to reveal in all the light and goodness that is Crystal Methyd. 

They stay like that, kissing in the middle of the busy sidewalk for a long time, delighting in the ebbs and flows between them, the undemanding yet heated give and take. She doesn't know what’s growing in her chest- whatever it is, it's innocent, precious, and it's growing toward Crystal.

When they pull apart-  _ lips swollen eyes shining, hearts beating double time _ -they’re both giggling.

**_Each day, you’d rise with me_ **

**_Know that I would gladly be_ **

**_The Icarus to your certainty_ **

**_Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight_ **

Gigi is happy. The certainty comes to her one morning when she wakes up bathed in golden light. Dawn has just started to paint the sky. She spent the long weekend at Crystal's, their first stay-cation, there had been a pillow fort, too many brownies, and a lot of uninterrupted time with her _ girlfriend.  _ She moves carefully so to not disturb Crystal, sleeping beside her, and picks up the manuscript laying on the bedside table. 

She props herself up on the headboard and smiles as Crystal adjusts and settles, moving closer to cuddle against her, before Gigi pulls out her orange pen and starts marking up pages, occasionally murmuring couplets to make sure the rhyme scheme makes sense. She rests one hand in Crystal’s hair, absentmindedly twirling a curl around her finger as she reads.

“I love you,” Crystal says into her side, her words muffled by Gigi’s skin.

She is pulled out of her daze then; the city outside the window is fully awake now, unlike Crystal who’s playing with the string of her pyjama shorts, gazing up at Gigi through her lashes. She looks sleep-soft, her voice a little horse.

“Crystal, I-”

“You don't have to say it back. I only wanted to let you know where I’m at,” Crystal assures her with a sincere smile on her face that has Gigi’s heart fluttering. 

She thinks about being in Crystal’s space,  _ her life, _ the almost year they’ve been dating and how much light and love she’s felt radiating, fractured and refracting over and over again. 

How lucky she feels to have chosen and have been chosen to luxuriate in this sunshine-  _ in Crystal's sunshine _ \- how much she wants them to continue growing together, and how she doesn't care about a potential ending if it means she gets this, grumbling Crystal every morning. 

Gigi wants Crystal enthusiastically dancing in the kitchen late at night, she wants Crystal who cries at every movie they watch, she wants Crystal who sings along to every lip sync song when they watch Drag Race. Crystal who listens to Gigi read into the evening and even in the early mornings. Crystal who is so passionate about her work, Crystal who is a better friend than most. She wants all the Crystals and then some. Gigi wants exactly what they have for the rest of as long as they decide to keep each other. Because this right now? It's enough.  _ This right now is everything. _

“I would Icarus my way to the sun and back for you, Crystal.” 

**_Strap the wing to me_ **

**_Death trap clad happily_ **

**_With wax melted, I’d meet the sea_ **

**_Under sunlight, sunlight, sunlight_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: @crygimethoode
> 
> Huge Thank you to Frey, for everything.


End file.
